tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8462636453989617370.post1784987184392084302..comments2023-06-03T09:11:53.986-07:00Comments on Just a Bald Man . . . .: Unschooling, UnparentingJeff Sabohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08229995530493648253noreply@blogger.comBlogger14125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8462636453989617370.post-77494368549303605092010-05-05T03:43:29.224-07:002010-05-05T03:43:29.224-07:00Oh thank you Jeff, off to print out the 'role ...Oh thank you Jeff, off to print out the 'role of parents' statements and stick them to my wall to remind me! Love the one on Love...<br>thank you again<br>Mum to 3 in Australia where unschooling is just seen as weird...LOLAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8462636453989617370.post-60227428096292092342010-04-30T02:39:58.796-07:002010-04-30T02:39:58.796-07:00I would put trust and respect right after Love and...I would put trust and respect right after Love and I'd put love unconditionally.<br> Another little remark on controlling them: how would they learn to control themselves that way<br>And keeping them away from the bad stuff so they survive the real world. The real world is filled with the bad stuff, shouldn't they learn about it and learn to deal with it?<br><br>Love the post, am sharing it on my FB fanpage and you can count me in as your newest follower :)mamapoekiehttp://mamapoekie.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8462636453989617370.post-87890055565295611532010-04-29T18:55:38.466-07:002010-04-29T18:55:38.466-07:00Thank you for posting this...it says a lot not onl...Thank you for posting this...it says a lot not only to unschooling families, but to everyone out there who thinks unschooling means unparenting too!apprenticemomhttp://apprenticemom.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8462636453989617370.post-4409078542626098552010-04-29T12:05:11.774-07:002010-04-29T12:05:11.774-07:00Jeff, this is such a great post. Thanks so much fo...Jeff, this is such a great post. Thanks so much for sharing all this.<br><br>I used to think that we couldn't unschool because I'd confused it with unparenting (in the non-parenting sense of the word. I know better now. :) And I was so happy to pass this on to my husband, who read it, and said, "That <i>is</i> a good post."ipsanoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8462636453989617370.post-83126707408230406532010-04-29T09:27:55.379-07:002010-04-29T09:27:55.379-07:00I just asked this question on the FaceBook page of...I just asked this question on the FaceBook page of a friend who linked to your blog, and then it occurred to me that I should just ask here.<br><br>You says you like the definition of unparenting on UnParenting.com, which is a very positive definition. And then you go on to ask "what is unparenting?" and give examples of parents not helping their kids be safe, emotionally supported and respectful of others, which is very negative and which you do not advocate.<br><br>So,for unschoolers, is "unparenting" a positive or negative term? <br><br>I'm going to LiG for the first time this year, btw :-) And I loved this blog post; it helped me sort out some things in my thinking.<br><br>JenAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8462636453989617370.post-46207493140682098202010-04-29T08:22:21.100-07:002010-04-29T08:22:21.100-07:00Thank you for this post.We are an unschooling fami...Thank you for this post.<br><br>We are an unschooling family (I have a son and daughter) in Madison, WI and we are thinking about moving to Portland this fall. I just joined a Portland yahoo group, and I was pleased to be led to your post.<br><br>It's exciting to learn of people who think about and explore unschooling, but it can be challenging.<br><br>This last year, my daughter decided to start high school. I looked at it as the ultimate homeschooling project--to allow her the experience of high school and see what she made of it.<br><br>As a parent, high school has been everything that made me choose homeschooling to begin with. I saw my daughter exhausted by a ridiculous work load of mostly unimportant, stupid and mind crushing homework. I saw her natural ability to want to explore the world stultified. I saw her confidence in her singing ability eroded. She had hoped to make friends and ended up feeling isolated and strange.<br><br>And yet, there is something about her experience which is driving her on. She insists that she wants to continue school and that she enjoys it.<br><br>This is the Extreme-Unparenting sport. This is the grey area. This is where you dig deep and find strength where you thought you had none. This is where my desire to protect and guide my daughter in ways that *I* see fit as a parent collide against my deep trust of her, my respect for the process of growing up in her own way and my fundamental value of letting her chose her experiences in the world.<br><br>I still have not navigated my way through this one. I trust her deeply and yet I witness her making choices that appear to not be in her interest.<br><br>And on top of it all, I hate school. "Don't I get a vote?," I want to whine to the world??<br><br>If we are true unschoolers, then we need to allow our kids all options including not to be an unschooler.<br><br>This is a mind puzzle that I don't care to dive into.<br><br>My whole point is that I'm glad to have these discussions in our new home.<br><br>I look forward to connecting with the unschooling crowd in Portland.<br><br>We will be touring Portland in 2 weeks. Maybe I'll be able to run into some of you while I'm there!<br><br>Thank you,<br><br>JuliaJulia Rymuthttp://www.stress-free-mama.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8462636453989617370.post-51597622915524771642010-04-29T06:43:19.404-07:002010-04-29T06:43:19.404-07:00Great post - hope you have a great time at the con...Great post - hope you have a great time at the con. - myself I decided not to go this year - hopefully next year though :)Deb(bie Debbie Doo)http://www.blogger.com/profile/07767855705677062954noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8462636453989617370.post-37696071143632075902010-04-28T22:07:51.815-07:002010-04-28T22:07:51.815-07:00I'll join the chorus in applauding this post.I...I'll join the chorus in applauding this post.<br><br>I do struggle with gray areas, though, especially in the "respect for others" and "safety" categories. Your examples don't seem gray to me, but there is so much "behavior" that the mainstream considers black-and-white issues but I absolutely don't. Profanity not at 3 a.m. Public displays of affection from teen couples. Teens hanging out, oh, just about anywhere really. Loud laughter. Running in hallways when it harms no one. Riding the elevator just for fun. And so on. Traditional parents look at these and scowl and KNOW that our kids are unparented. Unschoolers look at many of them and smile and see normal, happy play and exploration.<br><br>It comes down to judgment calls, always, and unschooling parents tend to err on the side of <i>allowing</i> and <i>accepting</i>. I think it's inevitable that there are going to be times when we do in fact <i>err</i>. We get to live and learn, just like our kids, you know?<br><br>I too want to see more parental involvement at unschooling conferences (and everywhere). But I wonder if there isn't a way we can extend unschooling philosophy to each other and do a little coaching when it seems like this parent or that isn't negotiating that thin line very well. I know it's tricky -- people turn porcupine-ish pretty quickly when they feel their parenting is being criticized. Worth a shot, though...Ronniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04394775601858204784noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8462636453989617370.post-46463597968130682432010-04-28T20:09:30.901-07:002010-04-28T20:09:30.901-07:00lovely. i agree about this being reading fodder f...lovely. i agree about this being reading fodder for all conference attendees!Lyla Wolfensteinnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8462636453989617370.post-5499396581775058812010-04-28T19:11:27.802-07:002010-04-28T19:11:27.802-07:00Thank you for putting the thoughts into words.Thank you for putting the thoughts into words.Beachbumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14228495806134484280noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8462636453989617370.post-32443040664626317462010-04-28T18:06:26.012-07:002010-04-28T18:06:26.012-07:00I appreciate all your posts. Some days I wonder if...I appreciate all your posts. Some days I wonder if I am doing well in my roll as a mom. I appreciate that you are honest in letting us know that you are not always super dad :) Makes me feel better.<br><br>Looking into the conference thing. Would like to attend one soon.Tinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09611764295297526639noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8462636453989617370.post-19123464701963467472010-04-28T17:49:59.378-07:002010-04-28T17:49:59.378-07:00Jeff - you made me cry tears of joy and relief and...Jeff - you made me cry tears of joy and relief and acceptance and, and, and ... thank you!<br>-moniqueMoniquehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16682148571779265058noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8462636453989617370.post-63316441154865603992010-04-28T17:38:03.340-07:002010-04-28T17:38:03.340-07:00Mr. Sabo I do believe I love you more and more ea...Mr. Sabo I do believe I love you more and more each day. If that's possible.Zenmommahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06733997460907718304noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8462636453989617370.post-1434161726250764882010-04-28T17:18:40.557-07:002010-04-28T17:18:40.557-07:00I am thinking this would be a great opening briefi...I am thinking this would be a great opening briefing at Life is Good! :)Penta Momhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08234928787288843143noreply@blogger.com